Mom Job Description

May 10, 2018

Mom Job Description

Mom Job Description

Job Title:

Mom (possible promotion to Grandma years down the line, please be patient.)

 

Job Summary:

Are you interested in a life-changing experience that literally never ends? Have you ever wanted to work around the clock with no pay and no indication that you’re doing well at your position for at least 18-20 years? Do you like locking yourself in closets and crying so no one can see you when it all gets to be too much?

  • No vacation days or personal days

  • No 401k or insurance

  • No training—learn on the job

  • Overtime is required

  • Must be OK with working nights, weekends, and holidays

We know this job looks terrible on paper.

But we promise, it will be the most rewarding experience of your life, and once you’re hired to be Mom, it will be impossible to imagine life as anything else.

 

Job Responsibilities:

*Will change overtime with age and experience—everyday is filled with new adventures, pressures, expectations, and duties so be prepared for anything, always.

  • Feeding, changing, and bathing a mini version of you for the first few years, all while enjoying minimal sleep and an exhausting schedule

  • Trying to decipher what Mini-You needs when crying because your new job is one big guessing-game filled with the inability to communicate

  • Keeping calm when every part of you wants to lose your cool—this is especially important when Mini-You throws a loud, public meltdown

  • Being a mind reader, cheerleader, caregiver, teacher, mentor, counselor, chef, driver, and about 100 other titles at any moment for the rest of your life

  • Concealing your laughter when Mini-You says something wildly hilarious but highly inappropriate

  • Assisting with homework in a variety of subjects that you haven’t studied in years, maybe decades (have you heard of Common Core? Because whoa.)

  • Making cupcakes at midnight for a bake sale tomorrow that Mini-You just told you about an hour ago

  • Putting everyone’s needs before your own

  • Worrying for the rest of your days every time Mini-You leaves the house

Job Qualifications:

Unconditionally loving another human being more than you ever thought possible, to the point where sometimes you look at Mini-You and your entire heart wants to explode with pride because YOU made that special little person and even on the worst days, you wouldn’t trade any of it for anything in this world.



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