May 10, 2018
Mom (possible promotion to Grandma years down the line, please be patient.)
Are you interested in a life-changing experience that literally never ends? Have you ever wanted to work around the clock with no pay and no indication that you’re doing well at your position for at least 18-20 years? Do you like locking yourself in closets and crying so no one can see you when it all gets to be too much?
No vacation days or personal days
No 401k or insurance
No training—learn on the job
Overtime is required
Must be OK with working nights, weekends, and holidays
We know this job looks terrible on paper.
But we promise, it will be the most rewarding experience of your life, and once you’re hired to be Mom, it will be impossible to imagine life as anything else.
*Will change overtime with age and experience—everyday is filled with new adventures, pressures, expectations, and duties so be prepared for anything, always.
Feeding, changing, and bathing a mini version of you for the first few years, all while enjoying minimal sleep and an exhausting schedule
Trying to decipher what Mini-You needs when crying because your new job is one big guessing-game filled with the inability to communicate
Keeping calm when every part of you wants to lose your cool—this is especially important when Mini-You throws a loud, public meltdown
Being a mind reader, cheerleader, caregiver, teacher, mentor, counselor, chef, driver, and about 100 other titles at any moment for the rest of your life
Concealing your laughter when Mini-You says something wildly hilarious but highly inappropriate
Assisting with homework in a variety of subjects that you haven’t studied in years, maybe decades (have you heard of Common Core? Because whoa.)
Making cupcakes at midnight for a bake sale tomorrow that Mini-You just told you about an hour ago
Putting everyone’s needs before your own
Worrying for the rest of your days every time Mini-You leaves the house
Unconditionally loving another human being more than you ever thought possible, to the point where sometimes you look at Mini-You and your entire heart wants to explode with pride because YOU made that special little person and even on the worst days, you wouldn’t trade any of it for anything in this world.
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